Friday, January 05, 2007

You Gotta Love Fox

They say this as if it's a bad thing....the country should be so lucky!

Why am I not surprised by Fox News' attempts to smear the new speaker AND one of the best cities in the world?

Dear Fox News - Your desperation is showing. Only a matter of time before your ratings truly tumble into the crapper!

I was born and raised in San Francisco. I wouldn't mind if the rest of the country turned into it. I'm sick of the intolerance being spewed out by the bigots at Fox. Once upon I time, I thought they were amusing. Lately, I've just about had it.

Jerks!

Viva Pelosi!

Me thinks everyone's fear is that a woman could very possibly become president (Pelosi is second in line to the Presidency after all). I can't wait to hear what they'll say about Hillary if she runs for President. I'm pretty sure they said all of it during Bill's election, but I'm sure they'll spit out the same Vince Foster Killed by the Clintons garbage.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

UCLA Student Tasered by Police in Library

Shockingly enough (I know I can still hear gasps) this happened courtesy of the good ole police folk in LA. What is it with police and Los Angeles? Is it something in the water? And this is campus police, too. I remember thinking they were a joke, back when I went to UCLA. This upsets me! An Iranian-American student was tasered at Powell Library's (one of the many campus libraries) computer lab. The details are still sketchy, but apparently he was asked for his Bruincard (student ID), he didn't have it, probably threw a hissy fit and was told to leave. The student probably didn't leave (let's face it...getting close to finals, ok?) and campus police barged in, throwing their tasers in the air and proceeding to go ballistic on the kid. They tasered him several times, even after they handcuffed him. Well...see the video for yourself.

I'm disgusted...actually, DISGUST is not even the word to use for what I'm feeling. I'm appalled and embarassed that this sort of thing happens in the US still, years after civil rights' movements, fights for freedoms, etc. You know the reason they tasered him so many times was because of his Iranian origin. Sorry, if perhaps this will offend some of those who believe that the U.S. is perfect. It's not! I'm so sick and tired of people who don't look white getting shit all the time. I'm Italian and I remember getting the WHAT ARE YOU? questions all the time. My father gets discriminated all the time because his English isn't perfect. People can't be bothered to actually listen to what someone's saying (never mind the hypocrisy of demanding that everyone here, including tourists, speak English, when we go to Paris and then demand that they cater to our every need...but the French are all assholes, right? Yeah, sure...I can't stand the double standard, but this is best left for my next post - Mailyn, I'll be counting on you to comment!!!). I'm glad my parents stand up for themselves and don't take any of the BS. No one should! They've been here since the early 70s and they still get this shit. It pisses me off...again, best left for another post.

How f-ed up is this video? I'm still waiting for more news. The kid might have been a smart ass to the cops (and yes, he does curse them off several times), but nothing except immediate danger would warrant a taser. The kid was relatively harmless.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Still Struggling

When I was in college I inevitably gained the infamous Freshman 15. I was traumatized and took immediate measures to lose it. I lost it fairly quickly. The fact that my grandmother died some time later made it remarkably simple; I had no appetite. I was taking anti-depressants and was just trying to control panic attacks and school at the same time. I lost the weight, then more and more, until I had reached the very unhealthy weight of 89-92 pounds (to this day I cannot remember the exact weight). I did not look good. I see that today in the old college pictures. I was emaciated, too skinny for my own good, with bones sticking out. I remember being with a former boyfriend and having him actually complain that my hip bone japped him really hard during a make out session. Not too sexy!

I thought I looked so hot...I thought I could lose more weight. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a girl who was looking good, but who perhaps needed to lose a bit more weight. I still don't know how many more pounds I intended to lose. I was so lost I had no clue what I was doing. The mirror lied to me on a daily basis and nothing anyone would say would make it better. I believed I was overweight; I believed I had to limit my food intake.

I ate nothing..my meals consisted of steamed mushrooms with some low sodium soy sauce and water. Sometimes I'd splurge on chocolate malt balls and then go for 3 hour walk. I worked out twice a day...walked everyone. Would pretend I wasn't hungry at the beginning. Later I simply wasn't. I no longer knew what it felt like to be hungry; I was addicted to the empty starving feeling in my stomach. I hated myself so much. Hated the way I looked; hated everything about me.

You never recover from an eating disorder....you get better, but the illness never completely goes away. I'm struggling right now....I'm eating but I'm struggling. I'm thinking about weight too much lately. Way too much. I wonder if my unhappy job situation is what's subconsciously causing it...it's always something. You always feel like you have to control something.

I continue to eat. I feel weak when I don't, but years of not eating really screwed up my digestive system and today I can't go a meal without feeling ill, literally ill...I always feel as if I've eaten an entire cheesecake after I eat. I continue to eat and yet I think about working out all the time, but I'm so tired at the end of the day that sometimes I don't and then I feel like pure shit. I don't even want to go to work sometimes because I feel fat and uncomfortable. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I can't lie anymore. I still deal with this and it hurts. It's driving me crazy!

I have to eat. When I don't, I feel sick and my hair falls out. We need to eat to survive. When we don't eat, our bodies suffer...yet I still think about it...still think and obsess over my weight when I should just be happy with my body. I'm not fat, I have to tell myself that. What is wrong with me that I can never believe that? What is wrong with me that I can never be satisfied with ANYTHING granted me in life?

I just had to vent. I'm about to go to the gym.

How do celebrities manage to starve themselves and still look great? No bad skin? No hair falling out? Makes no sense and WHY WHY WHY do we feel such a need to attack them when we see them gain a pound or two?